16. Dezember 2010

Copulating giant tortoises and the train driver's wife

So LaMama and Vati Basmati safely returned from South Africa. They are greatly impressed by the landscape, the friendly people and the copulating giant tortoises in front of their motorhome. Anyone who goes traveling has stories to tell, I guess.

Of course I wanted to see them asap, having had to suffer through four weeks of mother-daughter-disconnection. Words had to be delivered. Immediately.

And since I had decided to become a train commuter for a month, I possess a monthly ticket for our transport association and boy can I say you really get your money's worth. And since I possess said monthly ticket, I was doomed. Doomed to go to south of the emperor's town, all the way from the holy halls north of the emperor's town.

To outline the situation: Winter. Snow. Long johns. Boots. Cold nose. Bobble cap. Mittens.

In such a situation, I carefully note trains and bus lines, arrival and departure times, times for changing trains, tracks if possible and I also ask Google maps to show me where the bus station is so that I know whether I have to run to the left or right after falling off the train. I would note the train driver's wife's middle name if that information were available. Just to have something to open up a conversation if necessary.

That piece of paper is copied, for what am I supposed to do if someone steals my backpack? Maybe I put it down to wrestle with mittens, cap and jacket and forget to pick it up again? So it seems best to have a copy of the timetable in my pocket.

So I am generally well prepared for trips to the unknown.

Now watch me: I leave the office, march to the train station north of the emperor's town, catch a train to the emperor's town, arrive at the main station, switch to another train, arrive at a different town west of the emperor's town, get off the train to catch a bus that drives me to the village south of the emperor's town.

AND ALL THAT IN ONLY 135 MINUTES. The monthly ticket has really paid of in a money-per-hour ratio.

On the way, I check the timetable every two minutes regularly to make sure I am still on time. At the main station in the emperor's town, I have a 13 minute layover. Ample time to check the bookstore. On my way there, I check the official timetable of the main station, just to make sure. AND WHAT DO I SEE? I have written down the correct train number, track and arrival time west of the emperor's town. What I did not write down is that I have to get onto the second railway car as the first one is unhitched on the way to go to a different city and only the second one goes to where I want to go.

Isn't that something to tell the passengers? Dear Deutsche Bahn, don't you think that prospective customers may be interested in such information BEFORE boarding a train? Like at the time when they check connections? For the first time?

So next time I'll go somewhere, I'll not only write 17 papers with all the information I can get my hands on, I'll also personally call the CEO of the Deutsche Bahn and have him confirm my connection IN WRITING. And if anything goes wrong, I'll sue them. In the States. For mountains of money.

And those I'll use to buy another monthly ticket. Thank you.

1 Kommentar:

  1. Manchmal, aber nur manchmal, schreibt die Bahn so was am Bahnsteig an. So in etwa: erste Hälfte des Zuges fährt nach rechts, zweite nach links ... und ich frage mich immer, wie die das machen. Schneiden die den Zug unterwegs durch?
    Ach, ich bleibe eben unbelehrbarer Autofahrer.
    Grüße! N.

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